Mar 20 • 1HR 19M

#32

Q/A with a subscriber

Appears in this episode

Joseph Mayuyo
If you seek wisdom, it only comes from the upper room.
Episode details
Transcript

\ I was off like 12 Dexedrine in this video.

I hadn’t slept for a whole day. My doctor took me off Adderall and put me on Dexedrine, which is so much stronger.

I turned on my stream and conversed with someone who said I knew them but didn’t want to give up who they were. Throughout this video, I just opened up about betrayal.

People think I crashed out a few days ago, but I didn’t crash out. I was simply tired of the hypocrisy within my friendship circle. When one of us did something wrong, we used to “DP” them. This means you must get jumped by everyone because you’re being disciplined for doing something against your morals.

It sounds silly because we’re much older now, and I did understand that, but I felt the injustice because I’ve been DP’d a handful of times because of a lot of shit. The first DP I got was when my friends saw me talk back to my mom.

I didn’t understand why, but I did begin seeing how foul I used to talk to my mom. Ever since that DP, I have never spoken to her the way I did. I won’t lie and say we never argued again, but I stopped talking back to her. This is why DPs are essential in any friendship circle.

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Pornstars die young

My friends are two years older than me and’re in the 35+ age range. But I still don’t believe that’s a good enough excuse not to DP someone. We’re older now, and we can deal with it another way. So, since no one wanted to jump anyone, I requested a one-on-one. My friend CJ tried to set up a boxing match, but the person who wronged me declined the request and said he wanted nothing to do with me.

So now, let’s talk about why I’m mad at this person in the first place. About four years ago, he asked me to come with him to have dinner. I thought it was genuine, but he just wanted to hang out. However, he had a hidden agenda to reveal to me after dinner.

He told me his brother talked to himself in the living room around 4 a.m. I didn’t think much of it because I always spoke to myself. But talking to myself is more of a thought process, like thinking out loud. I don’t have conversations with people who aren’t here, which is what he insinuates.

He asked me for a favor, and this was no easy task. You’re asking an addict who’s been clean from drugs for a few years to go back into the trenches and try to make someone else stop. Real friends wouldn’t do this because that’s literal sobriety suicide.

How’d it turn out? Well…

After a year of hanging out with his brother:

  • I got him off drugs

  • I got him baptized and started going to church

  • I got him a job at Wendy’s

  • I got him enrolled at Grace Christian University

  • Made him Chief Operating Officer of a clothing company we started

*you know how it ends*

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\ WINNING LOTTO NUMBERS

white and red calendar on white wall
Photo by Waldemar on Unsplash

LOS ANGELES - Feeling lucky? The winning numbers have been drawn for Mega Millions' $893 million jackpot.

Below are the winning numbers drawn for the Mar. 19 grand prize:

24, 46, 49, 62, 66. MB: 7

Megaplier 2x

The next drawing will be held Friday, March 22, at 8 p.m. PT.

HOW MUCH DO YOU WIN AFTER TAXES?

There are 792 million reasons to dream, especially what you would do with the jackpot money. However, one thing all lottery winners have to consider is that their prizes will be taxed.

So, how much do you get after taxes?

It depends on a couple of factors: do you have to pay state taxes where you live? Will you take the lump sum payment or the annuity payout?

According to Mega Millions' website, those electing to take the annuity option get one immediate payment followed by 29 annual payments, a process that is identical to Powerball with their payouts.

\ DEAD MAN WALKING

Georgia set to execute death row inmate Willie Pye, whose lawyers claim he  has an intellectual disability | CNN

March 20 — Georgia is set to execute Willie James Pye, convicted in the 1993 death of his former girlfriend, Wednesday after he was denied clemency. The scheduled execution was poised to proceed at 7 p.m. EDT after the Georgia Parole Board dismissed his legal team's plea for leniency based on his intellectual disability.

In a definitive statement, the State Board of Pardons and Paroles declared, "Following a comprehensive evaluation of all aspects of the case, including the discussions on clemency for condemned inmate Willie James Pye, clemency has been denied."

Pye's conviction in 1996 for malice murder, kidnapping, armed robbery, and related charges linked to Alicia Lynn Yarbrough's death prompted his attorneys to emphasize his IQ of 68 as grounds for clemency. They highlighted Pye's upbringing in severe poverty, citing his mother's alcohol consumption as a factor contributing to his cognitive and developmental challenges.

Critics of Pye's trial attorney, Johnny Mostiler, alleged inadequate legal representation, contending that crucial evidence regarding Pye's mental health struggles, as well as physical and emotional abuse, was not effectively presented during the trial proceedings.

The imminent execution through lethal injection marks Georgia's first execution since 2020, drawing attention to the state's current death row population of 41 inmates awaiting their fate.

The Upper Room is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

\ WHY CAN’T I BE HAPPY?

Photo by Dollar Gill on Unsplash

I’m almost thirty, and I seriously have nothing going for me. I’m failing in school. I want to work, but I’ve been fired so many times — I think I am traumatized. Unemployable? Is that even a thing? So, I do what any “sane” person would do. I start a business. I got the LLC and everything. Problem one: I don’t know what I’m getting into business for. Oh yeah, that’s right, because I seem to be a horrible employee. Maybe I’ll be a terrific boss? I doubt it, like the rain in California. I tell myself sometimes that perhaps I’m not good at life.

In the movie 300, there’s a scene where they throw away any deformed baby. Maybe I’m one of those babies that should have been thrown off that sharp cliff. Do you know what’s insane? An insane person working at a psych facility. That was my job a few months ago; it only lasted three weeks, but I’ve been in that field since 2017. People always feel sorry for the residents. While I have empathy, I don’t think feeling sorry for them is necessary.

In a twist of things, I wish I could not be so self-aware as when we were kids. Maybe that’s my problem; I have Peter Pan Syndrome. I don’t want to grow up. This is the opposite of what I would tell myself as a kid. I remember expressing out loud that I couldn’t wait to move out of this damn house and drive away into the sunset. Oh, how the opposite has happened.
I don’t even have a friend to call and stay overnight.

What’s weird is that I was always that friend. Did someone get kicked out? They went to my house because they knew I’d take them in. I was that friend who would volunteer not to go out just because there wasn’t any room for me. For the past years, I’ve always been driving around alone. I don’t want to come off like a victim because I’m not. I care about making everyone else happy because I know how it feels to be sad.

Depression is like my shadow; it’s always with me, even though I have Peter Pan Syndrome. I’m not too fond of mirrors, but I eventually have to look at one every morning. I see myself getting older, and it scares the living crap out of me. I’m like, I haven’t replaced this toothbrush in a long time. I throw it away and see that I haven’t taken the trash out. Then I hear the sound of the truck driving away. It seems like my life is this dystopia of unfortunate events.
I realize that it’s only going to get worse. Isn’t that a bitch? Even death has a payment plan if you can’t afford the costs. That’s why life insurance is such a scam. It should be called death insurance. Tomato, Tomato?

I wrote a song the other day, maybe just the hook and a few verses. It’s lame. It’s about this girl I always see in my dreams. I don’t know why it’s always her. I don’t even see her now and haven’t seen her in over a decade.

The song is called “The Girl In My Dreams.” I emphasized that it’s the girl “in” my dreams, not the girl “of” my dreams. Don’t laugh; it goes like this.

Hook ~

In the dreamscape's domain, you're my freak and…
The one constant in the night, never weaken.
Eyes shut tight, it's your essence I perceive,
In slumber's grasp, you're all I believe.

You are, you are, the girl in my dreams,
In the nocturnal realm, where reality gleams.
You alone, in my mind's eye, reign supreme,
In dreams' embrace, you're the ultimate dream.

You are, you are, the essence of my sleep,
In every reverie, your presence runs deep.

— — Verse one ~

Baby, I know I've been away for a while
Sleepless nights, but tonight let's find a smile.
Come with me, let's embrace the night's embrace
You're the one I've been seeking, the vision of grace.

I want you by my side, every moment, every day,
In every possible way, you're the light guiding my way.
Stay with me tonight, let's erase the past's blight,
Forget the fights, let's make this moment right.

We vowed to always stand together, never to part,
For each other, we pledged our hearts.
In your eyes, I find a treasure untold,
But waking up alone, the truth unfolds.

I'll see you on the other side, in dreams we'll abide,
But reality dawns, and it's just me by my side.
You were everything, in my dreams so bright,
Yet now, in waking, you're just out of sight.

—Hook~
In the dreamscape's domain, you're my freak and…
The one constant in the night, never weaken.
Eyes shut tight, it's your essence I perceive,
In slumber's grasp, you're all I believe.

You are, you are, the girl in my dreams,
In the nocturnal realm, where reality gleams.
You alone, in my mind's eye, reign supreme,
In dreams' embrace, you're the ultimate dream.

You are, you are, the essence of my sleep,
In every reverie, your presence runs deep.

~~~unfinished.

Hey, smile for me. It’ll all make sense someday. You are loved. I promise.

The Upper Room is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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