The People Who Keep You Alive

Chapter 1 - Snowflake

August 2nd 2015

August 4th, 2024 (Listen if you don’t want to read)

It's 8:30 p.m. on a Saturday, and I hear a knock on the door. Who could be knocking at this hour? Instead of answering, I open my phone to check the cameras using the Nest app. The app opens slowly, revealing an image of a police officer at my door. "What the heck," I mutter. Immediately, my mind races to all the potentially illegal activities I had been involved in last week. I assure myself I hadn't committed anything serious, maybe just one or two minor offenses. This shouldn't warrant the police showing up at my door. Nevertheless, the cop continues knocking persistently and then starts yelling.

“Joseph! I know you’re in there. It’s Officer Reyes, Sheriff; open up! Your car is here; you haven’t left the house in four days. If you don’t open this door, I’m going to assume that you killed yourself, and therefore, I have the right to break this door down. I know you’re going through it, and I’m here to help you. Don’t make this worse; I will bring this door down.”

I go upstairs to the balcony and make myself known so he wouldn’t kick the door down.

"Do you have a warrant officer?” I asked out loud.

"It's a wellness check; I don’t need a warrant,” Reyes replied.

“Am I being detained or arrested? Read me my rights, please.” I replied.

"There's no need, as I said; it’s a wellness check,” Reyes replied.

“Okay, then, officer. Have a good night. You know I’m alive and well, and I don’t answer questions,” I dismissively said.

Officer Reyes said, “Hey man, I’m not trying to put you on the spot, but I know you were in Long Beach on Sunday. And trust me, I know exactly what you were doing. Just listen to me, man; give me a chance.”

"I'm all ears,” I replied.

Officer Reyes:" Alright, listen closely and pay attention. These are yes-or-no answers; don’t say more than yes or no. Do you understand, Joseph?

Joseph: Yeah

Officer Reyes: Was that a yes or no?

Joseph: Yeah… yeah means yes.

Officer Reyes: But didn’t we agree that these were yes-or-no questions?

Joseph: Right. I mean, yes.

Officer Reyes: Do you have any firearms?

Joseph: No

Officer Reyes: If you have a firearm, put it away somewhere it can be locked. Do you understand what I’m saying?

Joseph: Yes (running to my room to put all my illegal stuff in the safe)

Officer Reyes: Will you let me see you? I want to make sure you’re not hurt or being coerced. Can you do that for me?

Joseph: I’d like to end this conversation if I haven't committed a crime.

Officer Reyes: Hey man, you don’t have to be scared of me.

Joseph: Why the fuck would I be afraid of you? I’m worried I paid for the bullet you’d shoot me with. Or the handcuffs you're probably going to bust me with. I know how you guys role.

Officer Reyes: Do you know what kind of cop I am?

Joseph: You’re a sheriff.

Officer Reyes: No, I’m not an ordinary police officer. I’m a part of the domestic violence and self-harm prevention department. My partner up there, he has a gun. I don’t carry one because I’m trained to help people.

Joseph: I never heard of that before. You probably don’t get to go out as much, right?

Officer Reyes: This position was created because of the amount of mental health-related 911 calls. This is the city’s way of deterring untrained police officers from shooting mentally disturbed or sick patients.

Joseph: How much do you get paid?

Officer Reyes: I’ll tell you if you come down, open this door, and let me see you.

Joseph: How do I know you’re not going to arrest me?

Officer Reyes: Joseph, if we were here to arrest you, you would have been sitting in the squad car. We’re here because we received a tip from eBay, who is concerned about your mental state.

Joseph: Those motherfuckers called you guys?! WTF, yo, they are harassing the fuck out of me. Are they going to ban me, take my money, then try to tell the cops I’m crazy? Fuck them all. I’ll burn those motherfuckers alive.

Officer Reyes: Well, before you do all that, know I will be out here all night. Until you open this door and face me, man to man. We’re not going to fight. You’re not going to get shot. Just let me see you, man.

Joseph: Fuck, dude. I can’t catch a fucking break. There’s always some fucking shit getting in the way of me and my money. Fuck. You don’t understand. I don’t want to hurt myself. On the contrary, I want to live. But these fuckers and the matrix won’t let me fucking live.

Officer Reyes: Come down, man, you’re a smart guy. I’ve learned a lot about you this week. You’re slick; you know what you’re doing. You keep your hands clean. Now, I could bust you, but it would be unconstitutional because we were running surveillance on you based on your mental health and not because of a crime. It just so happened that you committed a few petty crimes while we were assigned to you.

Joseph: I don’t know what you are talking about. I don’t commit crimes. I don’t want to talk to you about anything without my lawyer or public defender present.

Officer Reyes: I brought this stool; I’m getting tired standing anyway. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be right here.

“Officer Reyes—don’t shoot me; I’m about to open the door. Tell your partner, too. I’m not holding anything. I’ll come out with my hands first. And you do remember you didn’t read my rights, right? So I’m trusting that you’re not going to bust me,” I said to Officer Reyes.

I come out the door with my hands. First, Officer Reyes handcuffed me and told me I was not being detained or arrested; this was just standard procedure to make sure we were all safe.

“I thought you were gonna be shorter,” Officer Reyes jokingly said.

“Fuck off,” I replied.

“Let me look at you, man. I’m just gonna check your body to see if you’re hurt” Officer Reyes said.

“I don't self-harm, bro; I don’t do that shit”